Good day. My name is Professor Garfield Gatsby. I’m a member of The Royal Society, U.K. Academy of Science. We have just come into possession of a most extraordinary account detailing the late Lord Hanover’s research. In it he asserts that if you’ve been legally certified as heir to his title and estate, it will prove that a final experiment he performed on himself has succeeded. So my question is simply this: Do you in fact exist? If not, please disregard this message. I’ll ring back later to confirm. Goodbye.

Good evening, this is Dennis Rollinsby. … If you know who I am, I beg you not to be alarmed. Your Uncle Arthur condones this call. In keeping with the spirit of tonight’s magic show, I have arranged to make that device you have fully operational now—that is, if you’re interested in having a go. If all that Arthur says about you is true, then I’m certain you are curious about experiencing, shall we say, a new mode of transportation. … As to its safety, we’re reasonably sure you’ll experience no ill effects, but one can never be sure, so of course the final decision is yours. … Good night and Godspeed.